Rosie Skene:

Hello
And welcome to episode 23 of Triumph Beyond Trauma. I am beyond thrilled that
you are spending your incredibly valuable time listening to this podcast and
hopefully always getting something out of the amazing conversations I'm having
with my guests.

There's a beautiful quote by Marcus Aurelius. If your wellbeing
matters, be your own savior while you can. And it's been mentioned a few times
actually on the podcast by different guests, and I think the reason for that is
pretty simple in relation to mental health or mental wellness. There's only so
much that others can do for you.

The rest really is up to you. You have to put in every single
day. And of course, there's going to be the days where you just can't, I get
it. And it's totally okay and normal, but the most important thing is to wake
up tomorrow. Realize that this day is a gift and that you're going to do
something to be your own savior.

Maybe it's a shower. Maybe it's a walk with the kids. Maybe
it's listening to John Farnham. You're the voice with old mates. Maybe it's
heading over to my website, tactical yoga, australia. com and enrolling in my
program, the first responder mental wellness method. The program was created
with the intention of empowering first responders, veterans, and frontline
workers to embrace their mental health and take positive action to be their own
saviors.

To learn about how our jobs impact our mental health and how
mind body breath techniques can make the most profound impact on your journey.
It's literally changed my life and is changing the lives of those that are
already enrolled. And I want the same for you. So head on over to
tacticalyogaaustralia. com and have a look and see what it's all about.

Today I am talking with the wonderful Sarah Ashcroft. Sarah is
a retired New South Wales police sergeant and Sarah is absolutely demonstrating
what it is to be your own savior, creating a coloring book for emergency and by
hosting the brand sparkly new emergency podcast.

I cannot wait for you guys to take a listen, so let's get into
it.

Welcome to Triumph Beyond Trauma, the podcast that explores
journeys of resilience and hope. I'm Rosie Skene a yoga and breathwork teacher
and founder of Tactical Yoga Australia. As a former soldier's wife, mum to
three beautiful kids and a medically retired NSW police officer with PTSD, I
understand the challenges of navigating mental health in the first responder
and veteran community.

Join us for incredible stories from individuals who've
confronted the depths of mental illness and discovered their path to happiness
and purpose, as well as solo episodes and expert discussions. Together, we'll
uncover the tools to help you navigate your journey toward a brighter future.
Whether you're looking for helpful insights, practical tips, or just a friendly
reminder that you're not alone, Triumph Beyond Trauma has got your back.

You matter, and your journey to a happier, more meaningful life
starts right here.

Rosie Skene:

Welcome
to Triumph Beyond Trauma Sarah. It's so good to have you here.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Thank
you. It's a pleasure to be here. Nice to meet

you in person, finally.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah, I
know. I've seen you a couple of times, uh, on the little Emerge & See group
chat, but not one on one, so it's nice.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
good to put a face to the name.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah,
for sure. So usually I just start this podcast with just telling us a little
bit about yourself and how you come to join the police force.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
well, I'm 46 at the moment, , live in Southwest Sydney. I joined the cops when
I was 18, , pretty much straight out of school, but I did try my hand at
becoming a marine biologist for a little while there.

, I had some weird dream of being a dolphin trainer, like
everybody does.

Rosie Skene:

I don't
know. I think that was like, when we were kids, that was like

the job, wasn't it? A marine biologist. I don't know why.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
well, I was mad into scuba diving, so yeah, I, I always wanted to be a cop, but
then for some reason I got pretty decent marks in HSC and thought, Oh God,
maybe I better go to uni because, you know, that's the done thing.

So yeah, six weeks into a science degree and I hadn't attended
many of the lectures and we had an exam coming up where we were going to have
to kill a rat and cut it open for this prac exam. So I was like, nah, I'm
tapping out. I'm going back to the cops. So yeah, I joined when I was 18. Yeah,
26 years later, here we are.

Yeah, wow.

Rosie Skene:

How'd
you find it? From going to, from university and doing that to, you know, going
to Goulburn and joining the Cops.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Um,
well, I'd never worked before, so I was pretty excited to be earning money
because that was, prep back then. I think we used to get like 900 a fortnight,
but I'd never worked so, and I'd never lived out of home.

So living down at Goulburn and earning money, like I thought I
was loaded and was living my best life down there.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah,
absolutely, so where'd you go from Goulburn?

Sarah Ashcroft:

Um,
stupidly I put in for Bankstown cause I grew up around there and. Of course,
got it. Yeah. Yeah. So straight to

Bankstown

Rosie Skene:

and did
you stay there for very long or did you move around a bit or how was your
career?

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
all Sydney. Um, mostly Bankstown. Sadly, I stayed there for about 13 years or
so and then transferred to Macquarie Fields. But I only did three years there.
I found it pretty boring. And then went back to the PTC, the Police Transport
Command. And in the, um, plainclothes tag unit there, which was based out of
Bankstown, um, for another six or seven years.

Yeah,

Rosie Skene:

nice.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.

Rosie Skene:

, how
did you go with your career? Like you said, you went to PTC and did some
plainclothes stuff there? Did you move around a bit and even though you're in
Bankstown for so long, or were you happy to stay in GDs?

Sarah Ashcroft:

Um, I
did a little bit of everything.

I did probably half GDs, then half proactive, um, we started
the drug unit in Bankstown, , which was based out of the detective's office,
but I never did my designation or anything like that. I did a little
seccondment at the gang squad, um, I hated that, it was so boring. I just hated
like not being out on the road and interacting with people, , came back and got
my Sergeant's job.

In the proactive team, and then, yeah, a little bit more GDs at
Macquarie Fields and then back to proactive. I just really like that proactive
style, like plain clothes and, you know, getting out there and hunting the
crooks, as we used to say.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah, I
know, I enjoyed, like, I was a country cop, so, , I'm not as busy as in the
city, but I really enjoyed that proactive side of policing as well.

Um, you know, going out to find your own trouble and, and that
sort of thing. I've found that like a lot of fun. I think you can have a lot
more fun doing that than just being reactive all the time.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
I mean, GDs is fun and it's a lot more exciting, you know, you get to go to all
the good jobs, but yeah, there's something about like getting a problem, I
suppose, like a crime problem and having to solve it.

And, Yeah, it can be satisfying.

Rosie Skene:

So, you
said you did 26 years?

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
Yeah,

Rosie Skene:

that's
probably going to be unheard of soon, that people do that long in the cops.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Well,
there's still people there that were there when I started. Um, yeah, I don't
know how they're doing it, but.

Rosie Skene:

I don't
know either. Um, so what happened for you?

How did you like, I've listened to a couple of the podcast
episodes now that you're doing with Emerge and See and we'll get to that a
little bit later. , but one of the episodes I listened to was how you started
to, , Really learn a lot about PTSD and how you were researching that, but I
was just wanting to know how, how that came all about for you.

I know for me, my PTSD
is cumulative, so there wasn't one big bang, um, that sort of set me off. I
think it was just a, a culmination of a lot and then I. like most people have
that straw that broke the camel's back or that last drop of water in the bucket
or whatever analogy you want to use, that was me.

Rosie Skene:

Um, so
I'm really interested in how that comes about for other people. , so how did it
come about for you?

Sarah Ashcroft:

,
pretty much the same. I'd say I did have a couple of sort of major jobs really
early on. , I spent my 20th birthday at a double murder where my partner and I,
um, uh, were almost killed Um, and for some reason that job really stuck with
me.

I think the fact that it was on my birthday really pissed me
off. Yeah. It would stick with you, yeah. Yeah. Um, and I did get some help
after that one, like privately, without, , you Even knowing what PTSD was back
then, but then obviously, you know, you just, you carry on and yeah, definitely
accumulated a lot more jobs after that.

And, , yeah, I think looking back in hindsight, it's probably a
reason why I went to the police transport command. I think in one way I was
avoiding. General Duties , and even like the plainclothes work that we used to
do, you know, I'd find myself steering the team towards surveillance and things
like that, rather than just hitting the crooks up, you know, and so I think I
knew for a while that something was going on.

, But yeah, it wasn't until that one day and no specific job
had happened. You know, in the months leading up to it, but that, just that one
day I was due to go to work. , my normal routine, because I started at 12
o'clock, was to go to the gym, , after I dropped the kids off at school and
then go straight from the gym to work.

And this one day I had my lunch packed, I had everything, had
my work bag with me, dropped the kids off at school and, you know, I was all
sorted to go to the gym and I just got back in the car from the kids and just
started crying. And I'm like, What the hell, like, there was nothing
interesting about that shift, nothing had happened, it was just, I just
couldn't do it, I just could not drive to work, so, yeah, that was the end of
it for me, and I, I really don't know why.

And you didn't go that day? No, I rang my best mate, who I had
been working with, and just said to my mate, this is what's going on, and she's
like, oh, buddy, I think it's time, like. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can't go.
So, yeah, I never went back.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah,
wow, that's the same, like, almost the same for me. I, I started crying.

And I'd never, ever done that before about work. And, , I cried
at work when I was talking to someone, a victim and their mum. And I was like,
oh, I'm so sorry, . This has never happened to me before. I don't know what's
going on. I'll be back in a minute. And then I started, , I obviously kept
going back and then I started the night before and then on the way to work and
then on the way home from work.

And I was just like, what the hell? Um, yeah, it's incredible
how that comes out. Isn't it? It's so weird. In your body.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
like in the end, I think you can convince yourself in your mind. You can sort
of try and override your feelings, but yeah, like they say, the body keeps the
score and in the end it just doesn't let you carry on.

Rosie Skene:

No, it
absolutely doesn't.

It's like, no, we're done. Like, you're not listening to me.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
I don't care what you say, you're not going to work.

Rosie Skene:

so
what'd you do from there after you didn't go back, obviously. How did you start
that process of finding help for yourself?

Sarah Ashcroft:

Um, I
found it really hard.

Like, just, I went to my GP who I'd had my family GP for years
and I was shocked. He literally said to me, Oh, I can't help you. It's too much
paperwork. I don't do work cover. Yeah. Waited a week for this appointment.
Cause you know, trying to get a GP appointment and, um, yeah, the God, that
really took me back.

I was so upset and yeah. And anyway, I just, so. I had to shop
around for a GP and the next one I found was terrible. And all he wanted to
talk about was how he couldn't grasp how my kids had two moms. And he was like,
he just wanted to ask about who their father was and what are the logistics of
that?

Yeah. What is going on here? Anyway, finally, thankfully, I had
a friend who had gone off, um, a few months earlier and he directed me to a
decent one and a good psychologist, thank God. And, um, yeah, finally got my
team together, but it took some effort.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah.
Isn't that incredible? Um, again, I had a similar experience.

I was in Coffs and then we moved to Adelaide. So I had to get
like interstate work cover situation. And the first doctor I went to, even as I
started talking about it, I could see her little eyes just like bouncing
around. She's quite young. And I was like, I, I don't think this is going to
work because I need someone to take me on long term.

This is not a one and done situation. And I was so lucky that
the next one I found down there, she had some experience and she was so lovely
and sort of really understood everything and, and just having a family as well
as having a mental health diagnosis.

So she understood that whole situation that I was in.

Um, and I was so thankful for that, but that, that other one,
like I, I totally understand your doctor saying, Oh, this is too much for me.
Like I'm just. I'll just prescribe some medicine. You know, like I don't do
that. Um, I was talking to Adam Blum recently and he said it took him three
years, um, to find the people that he needed to help him move through his, ,
depression.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
I mean, it's such a personal thing and you've really got to click with the
person. You know, I went through, I think four psychologists before I found.
The one that I'm with now and my previous one was fantastic but it was a more
of a logistical distance thing but yeah like the first two like you said
they're just one was just more interested in filling out return to work plans
and telling me his war stories and yeah it's just hard like to find someone
who's willing to do work cover.

for a start. Yeah. Who knows about trauma. Yeah. It's a
challenge. Yeah.

Rosie Skene:

I was
literally talking to a friend yesterday who said that he went to a GP and all
they wanted to hear was war stories. And, and they were just like, Oh, that's
interesting. Like, Oh, that's an interesting job. He's like, Oh, just help me
please.

You know, I want to talk to you about this. This

Sarah Ashcroft:

first
psychologist I had used to be Um, in New York, and so he just wanted to tell me
about firefighters that he treated after the, , Twin Towers. And like, you
know, that's obviously a tragic circumstance, but that's not helping me.

Rosie Skene:

No, I
don't need this, that trauma, as well as my own trauma.

Thanks so much.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Look,
I get it, they win, that was horrible, but it's not a competition.

Rosie Skene:

No,
that's right.

Oh my gosh. So you've got your team together now. How did you
go? You had kids, you said, at that stage as well, because you haven't been out
very long, have you? It's been, it's quite recent.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
um, officially since November last year.

Okay.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah.
Wow. So yeah, that's not long at all.

So how, is that going for you at home with your family?

Sarah Ashcroft:

Um,
not bad, you know, they've finally, they're twelve and ten, so. Ah, okay. Um,
and we've already been, I've always been pretty honest with them about it, I
haven't sort of hidden it or, you know, glazed over it, so they're, they're
pretty good, they understand what's going on.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah,
yeah, that's, they're good ages, I think, because you can sort of explain it to
them in a way that they're gonna, you know, understand that, you know,

how

you deal with situations sometimes, um, might, might be a bit
different, I guess.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
I think the only, um, probably negative for them is their other mum is a cop as
well.

Rosie Skene:

Okay.

Sarah Ashcroft:

No,
they have that two edged sword like, oh now they're a bit worried about her,
but they're not. Well, she's fine. She still goes to work. So why can't you go
to work, you

know?

Rosie Skene:

That
would be hard for the kids, I think, to get around, to head around that.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah,
for sure. I wanted to talk to you about, , Being your own saviour, because I
think you're doing this really well, um, I think that from what I've heard from
the podcast and what I've seen, you know, in those little snippets of Emerge
and See um, that you're really doing things, like you're very active in doing
things that are good for you, , and I just want to know, like, what made you
start doing things?

Because for me, you know, it's, it was a bit of a trickle, sort
of, I did this, A little 1 percent things, you know, I started doing this and
then I added on this. So how has that come about for you? Like a podcast is a
pretty huge undertaking, um, and it's a lot of learning. And I don't think I
could have done it, um, as early as what you have in, in your journey.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
I don't think I quite knew what I was taking on to be fair. And I

Rosie Skene:

think
that's a good thing, hey, because if you did, you'd still

You're

Rosie Skene:

like,
oh, I'm not doing that.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
bugger not. Um, no, you're right. I think it's definitely been a slow progress
and, um, it's not all smooth sailing. Like, some days I can't do it and I just
gotta give myself that space to have the time off.

But, yeah, I think, um, for me it started, um, With the
colouring book that we made for Emerge & See, I was at doing an inpatient
program down at South Coast Private Hospital, and there was a ex veteran there
who was into these ink drawings. I don't know if you can see, but he did that
big black and white one on my wall.

It's amazing, right, these 3D intricate drawings.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah.

Sarah Ashcroft:

He
was doing it while we were in there and he was like, oh so easy, like I'll show
you some patterns. So anyway, he started teaching us all these little patterns
that you can draw and so we'd all just sit around the table, you know, just
chatting and drinking tea and as you do in those places.

Yeah. And drawing and then when we got out of hospital we sort
of had this WhatsApp group and we'd Keep doing our drawings and sending them to
each other and one day one of the girls was like, oh, we should make a coloring
book for Emerge & See and try and raise some funds for them. And so we
approached the girls and they got it printed and yeah, just to see that sort of
come to light and feel like you're sort of part of a team again, like really
miss that.

Don't you know, when you leave the group. So just to be sort of
part of a group and accomplish something and it just. It felt really good to be
giving back, um, and then obviously just getting more involved with Emerge and
just trying to help those girls because they're doing an amazing job.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah,
they're, they're crazy.

I've spoken, I've seen Alana a few times and every time I see
her, I'm like, you guys are mad the amount of work that you're doing, , and I'm
so glad that they have set up a little, you know, system with volunteers now
cause they need the help

Sarah Ashcroft:

and
they're not getting paid. They're doing it all off their own bat. And they're
working like more than a full time job.

Yeah. It's ridiculous. And yeah, I used to work with Alana at,
um, Bankstown, so I knew her previous and yeah, just, I mean, anything that I
can do to help them, you know, within my own capabilities. . I'm happy to do,
but yeah. And then I guess with the podcast, it just sort of came about because
the girls were telling me that they had previously been booked for a bunch of
education sessions at police stations, um, where they would talk about lived
experience and recognising the symptoms of PTSD and stuff like that.

But then all of a sudden they started getting cancelled and
feedback from. The HR command was that it was coming from higher up. Um,
obviously it was having a bit of a flow on effect of people recognising and I
don't think they like that. No, um, so yeah, it just pissed me off a little
bit, to be honest. And I thought, well, how can we get this information out to
the people who need it?

And yeah, it Thought, oh, a podcast, like no one can stop them
listening to a podcast. No, that's exactly right. Yeah. So that's how that
happened.

Rosie Skene:

Oh,
that's so good. And you got a few episodes in now. , one of the episodes that I
really liked and I actually shared it with a friend yesterday was the one, , I
can't remember their names, but the psychologist and the psychiatrist who've
opened up a clinic together,

um, down, is it Wollongong way?

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
Yeah. Dr. Al and Jess O'Garr yeah.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah,
that was an amazing episode. And I think that is something that I would have
loved to have listened to really early on. Um, so yeah, great work with that
one because it was so informative, but incredibly down to earth and easy to
understand.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
they're amazing.

They're so Yeah, when I first went off and I was looking up
information and came across their channel on YouTube, and they've got a video
that they did years ago called the damn wall model. . And it's kind of like
your bucket sort of analogy, but it's a damn wall. It's the first time that I
really understood what accumulative trauma was, and just the way they explain
it, it's so simple.

Yeah. So I guess I've always been a bit of a fangirl of them
and had the pleasure of meeting them when I was an inpatient down there. And so
I knew it would be helpful for people and yeah, I wish I'd have had it as well.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah.
I'm going to link to that one in the show notes cause I think it's so important
for people to have those little understandings just in a way that's so simple.

Like you're like, Oh, of course. Like, and the way they explain
the damn wall is a resilient, that's your resilience. Thanks. Sort of shield, I
guess. And I was like, yeah, that's such a great way to explain it because once
it starts tipping over or cracking, like she's hard to come back from.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
And it kind of explains what you and I were just talking about, you know, where
you don't really know what the straw was, broke the camel back, but yeah.

And then it just all comes flooding in. It's just a perfect way
of explaining it.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah.
And I think that also, you know, , especially I'm really big on increasing
mental health literacy with first responders, because I think we have this.
thing that unless you've been to the most horrendous of incidents, you're not
worthy of having PTSD.

and I know a lot of
veterans are the same, you know, I didn't do a tour, , who am I to have that,
have any trauma. I think we feel a lot of guilt or even shame, I guess, , with
that, but yeah, the cumulative trauma, I was like, Oh, so that's a thing. Well,
that would make sense. Yeah. I mean, I've seen over this many years, there's
been a few things.

Yeah.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
And then I had someone even explain to me once, I think it was another
psychologist that, you know, you might not even have gone to any traumatic
jobs, but just being out on the street in uniform and being on guard and
feeling threatened just simply because you are a cult. You know, it's trauma in
itself.

Rosie Skene:

A
hundred percent. You're not the most liked

people in the world.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
I mean, I guess. True. You're basically a walking target for the 12 hours of
your shift. I'm like, yeah, that's true.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah,
and I think that uniform really dehumanizes you as well, , in the eyes of, , I
guess, not the whole public, but, you know, the people that don't generally
like police, you're not actually, , a mum or a wife or a husband, a father, , a
brother or a sister, you're just a person in a blue uniform that they have
decided that they don't like.

So it's really, um, I guess confronting as well, isn't it?

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.

Rosie Skene:

That
whole thing.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
We all walk around feeling vulnerable, but it's for good reason, I guess.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah.
Yeah. So with your journey, I like to call it a journey because I don't think
that it really ever ends. , I think you feel better and I think you're more
capable of doing things each and every day, if you do put in that work and
effort.

so I always refer to it
as a journey. So in your journey, what are you doing, , consistently, I guess,
to help yourself in your recovery?

Sarah Ashcroft:

Well,
recently, I suppose, because I've been taking a lot on, I've sort of Had to
make myself a mental checklist. So each day I say to myself, all right, the
main thing is look after your physical health.

So, you know, get out of bed, have a shower, brush your teeth,
do all those things. They've got to be number one. Do your doctor's
appointments, do your psychology appointments, you know, and then number two,
take care of your family. Uh, just prioritising, I guess, cause I was starting
to sort of. Put the podcast and things first,

you know, just getting back to like, yeah, taking care of
yourself first, , from sort of like a mindfulness sort of thing.

I try to do a bit of painting or artwork each day if I have
time. Um, yeah, just, I don't know, just plugging along really.

Rosie Skene:

I think
it's so important though, to acknowledge that getting out of bed and brushing
your teeth and having a shower, those things are so important because, , A lot
of us don't do that every day.

A lot of people need to
be reminded, you know, have you had a shower? I'm like, Oh, actually, no, it
might've been a couple of days. Yeah. Well, you should do that. so to be able
to consistently do those things is so good for your recovery and knowing that
you've done it and you feel good about yourself and then you are able to show
up for your family.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.

Rosie Skene:

You've
done the things for yourself.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
and I, um, I joined a gym a few years ago, even while I was still working, and
it's like a group fitness type situation, so you've got to book in for the
class, sort of in advance, so I do that every morning at 9. 30, and it just
gives me something to do. Get up for in a routine, like I have to be ready by
nine to get there on time.

And, you know, if you cancel, you've let people down. So, yeah,
I think just prioritising exercise and your own physical well being first, um,
then fit in other things if you can do it. Yeah.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah.
Acknowledging your own capacity is pretty huge, hey, and recognising when
things are , okay, I need to pull back a little bit now.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Exactly. Yeah, like I'm the kind of person who's like, yeah, I'll do that. I
can do that. I'll help with that. And yeah, you've really got to reality check
and you can't do as much as you used to. And sometimes you have to say no and
put yourself first.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah, I
think as first responders, we are a little bit adverse to saying no, especially
when it's involving other people and trying to help them.

So it's, um, yeah, it's definitely something that I've
struggled with over the years and I'm getting better at putting some boundaries
in now. Um, because you can't, you just can't take on too much because you, you
know, one step forward and four steps back, unfortunately, and you, you really
got to manage your own energy.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
Yeah. It's hard because you want to do what you used to do.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah.
Yeah. It's, it's definitely, like I said, it's definitely a journey. And I
think you, um, you know, over the years, I think it's been seven years for me
now, , in my journey since I was first diagnosed and, you know, gradually can
do more things and you have more capacity, but still like reading a whole book
that takes a while for me, like, or I used to be able to zip through them.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
And there's

Rosie Skene:

those
little things that I used to do that I just probably won't ever be able to do
at the capacity that I used to do before. So it's, yeah, it's important to
really think about that and acknowledge it and go, you know, and then what
happens afterwards, you know, when you have taken on too much and yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
I'll go and help the girls. Um, with a merge, do like a coffee van situation,
and I'm like, yeah, this is good. You know, it's only a couple of hours and
you're not doing anything strenuous, but then for the rest of the day and the
whole next day, you're exhausted. Yes. It's ridiculous.

I used to be a cop. I used to do all kinds of things. Oh,

Rosie Skene:

it's so
true. What do you think has had the greatest impact on, , your, your recovery
process so far, do you think?

Sarah Ashcroft:

Um,
probably I couldn't really separate exercise with, uh, The therapy that I've
received, I suppose for me, I'd say exercise in that gym.

Um, I just find it so beneficial just to have that hour a day
of just, you know, you can't think about anything else when you're in that
moment, all you can do is breathe, count the reps that you're doing. There's no
time to think about anything or do along anything. Um, and then just obviously
the chemical rush that you get after it is just.

Amazing. Endorphins. Um, so I'd say exercise and then obviously
I've been lucky enough to do the inpatient programs, which, you know, it's just
a huge amount of therapy condensed into such a short time.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah.
Yeah. I think you're right. , um, with the exercise and what we're talking
about, like that body keeps the score, Bessel van der Kolk's book, um, it's a
way of processing the trauma, isn't it really?

Cause you just remove that energy. With, if you're
weightlifting or like I do yoga and, and weightlifting as well. But, um, and
the breathing, , I think, like you said, , you don't have to think about
anything else. So you're just thinking about that actual thing at that time.
There's no time to be concerned with what's happened or be anxious about.

Anything that might happen in the future, you're, you're in
that moment. I think it's so, um, profound really in, in recovery.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah,
exactly. And you might not feel like it at the time. Like some days I really
struggle to get in, you know, like I'll be sitting in the car at the front
going like, come on, Sarah, just walk in the door.

Um, and a few times I've gone home, I have to admit, but if you
can drag yourself in the door, like within two or three minutes of moving your
body, you're like. Yeah, it just feels so good and you just get into it and
just improves your whole mood, I find, for that whole day.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah,
absolutely. What's your favourite episode that, so far, that you've recorded ,
on the Emerge and See podcast? And why? Well,

Sarah Ashcroft:

I
probably would have said the Psych Collective one. Yeah. Um, but another one I
really enjoyed was the one with Gillian Moore.

Um, she was a friend of mine who we worked together way back in
the day. And just to hear her story, she, Um, was involved in a car accident at
work and rolled down this cliff and anyway she ended up with complex regional
pain syndrome and had to eventually after six years have her arm amputated and
just but she's just in such an inspirational yeah amazing woman she now does
all these art therapy classes and she does welding and you know she's just Her
attitude is just inspiring and so it was really good to just catch up with her
and put her story out there because I think it's just such a great example of
resilience, like, and just having that attitude of finding a way to do it.

, I remember I asked her what's something she's done recently
that brought her joy and she said she'd changed the drive chain or something on
her ride on lawnmower. And like, for a normal able bodied person, that'd be
like, yeah, so, but she's got one arm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just,
it was a nice perspective.

And I liked it. I'd be proud of myself

Rosie Skene:

if I
could do that. I don't even know what that is. I couldn't even drive a ride on
lawnmower. But absolutely, like, I find people just phenomenal. Um, just humans
and what our capabilities are in the face of adversity. Like, it's, it's
incredible what we can achieve, I think.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
I know there's so many cool stories out there. Yeah. Yeah.

Rosie Skene:

That's
why I like doing this podcast so much because i'm doing it for the people. Um,
but I think I get this like great personal joy out of talking to people and,
and learning their stories and how they're overcoming challenges in their life.

And you know, it's, it's, yeah, it's amazing.

Sarah Ashcroft:

Well,
no, it's like therapy, isn't it? Like, Oh yeah.

Rosie Skene:

Talking
to all these cool people. Yeah. Community therapy. Exactly. , I usually, I
finish and I try and finish every time, , with a piece of advice or, you know,
a little tidbit or a little quote or something, um, that you want to share
maybe with other people that, , might be having a tough time and, you know,
just want to, something to lift them up a little bit.

Have you got anything for them?

Sarah Ashcroft:

Um, I
think. Connection is the most important thing. I think if you can find a friend
or a group or a community organization that you can connect with, it could be a
gym, could be an Emerge & See Hubs um, just connecting with people on a
regular basis and connecting with them.

Yeah, you don't have to do this alone, and there's plenty of
people out there that can help you along the way. I think, yeah, that'd be my
biggest tip. Find a group to connect with.

Rosie Skene:

Yeah,
that's such great advice, because it can be incredibly lonely, right?

Sarah Ashcroft:Y

eah,
and we miss that. That was such a big part of our careers, you know?

Yeah. Connection

and family, but you can find it elsewhere. Yeah,

Rosie Skene:

yeah,
absolutely. And I'm going to link to all the Emerge & See stuff in your
podcast in the show notes. So if anyone fits within the criteria of Emerge
& See they can go and jump in and become a member because it's an amazing
resource. And like you said, the girls, Pia and Alana doing incredible things
with it. , and it's so nice to see that. .

Sarah Ashcroft:

Yeah.
So good.

Rosie Skene:

Thank
you so much for joining me today. It's been such a joy to have you on and meet
you finally properly in person. Yeah,

Sarah Ashcroft:

you
too. Thanks for having me.

Rosie Skene

I hope
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Your support means the world. My name is Rosie Skene, join me
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Trauma. Until then, be kind to your mind and trust in the magic of your
consistent and positive efforts. Triumph Beyond your trauma is closer than you
think. Have the best week.